Friday, January 18, 2013

This moment...

I read somewhere while I was expecting that when we have children, we tend to spend so much time looking forward to the "firsts" that we forget to notice the "lasts". What I took away from the article changed me forever.

The premise was that we spend so much time, and you don't even have to be referring to children, looking forward to things that are to come, that we neglect what has passed - or is passing. We're busy people, always thinking about what needs to be done, what we have to accomplish, that we rarely see what's going on right in front of us. I believe the writer's example was she found her heart hurting, because she discovered that she was so preoccupied that she didn't even notice that her son no longer wanted to be rocked to sleep, she couldn't even remember when the "last" time was, a moment she had held so dear...

From the moment my sweet child was born, I've made a conscious effort to live in the moment. We hear a lot of hype about living in the moment, but how many of us really do? I can honestly say I do majority of the time. It isn't easy, actually it's hard. But like anything that is hard, if you practice, it becomes second nature. Shutting down distractions, putting down your iPhone, making the moment your priority, seeing the beauty in EVERYTHING.




Every time my son is in my arms, I make sure to breathe in the moment. Notice his darling little eyes looking up at me, how he seems to have a hundred more lashes today than he did yesterday. His features, his new expressions, his tiny hand wrapping around mine. How he notices that I have a high bun and for some reason thinks it's funny. His adorable laugh, the rate of his breath. I notice what stage my husband's scruff is in and at which day I like it best. Or the perfect, hard-earned lines around his eyes as he's smiling so big while adoring our child. The protective pit bull that, though she isn't allowed, gently but worriedly creeps down the hall because the baby is coughing, just to make sure - because from the moment he arrived, she too is a proud mama bear. And the weimaraner snoring by the fire, getting older by the minute, yet soaking in every ounce of comfort because she's had quite the journey and she's finally right where she wants to be.

I find that this new way of life, living in and soaking up the moment, is richer than I could've imagined. At times I honestly feel like my heart is going to burst with love and gratitude for every little thing. It leaves me in such a constant vulnerable state, that I don't even care what I'm NOT doing, because I'm so consumed by the emotion and pure tenderness that life can offer - if we let it.

To consciously take every moment and commit it to memory, to feel and absorb even the most minute detail, is what life is about for me. And even if I can't recall such details one day in my old age, I will know that in those moments, I realized the serene beauty around me and it made that point in my life incredibly special and worth while.

So, are you really living in the moment? Will you try? I for one know, that even when my son doesn't want to be rocked to sleep, or kissed on the face as a teenager, I will have relished the times that he did.

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